"bull" - feb. 14/08


dale: i found the best picture ever on sxc
mike: link me
dale: look up this photo
dale: 895405



mike: hahahahaha
dale: yeah i am using that pic in a mattress ad
mike: what how
mike: haha
mike: i wish i could use it
mike: that guy also did this shot
mike: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/895407
mike: pretty sweet
mike: haha he's only done 3 pics
mike: one of which is BULL KEEP OUT

(hours later)

dale: hahah my ad with bull keep out never came back
mike: haha
mike: send it to me
mike: i want to see it
mike: especially because it's a mattress ad you said, right?
dale: hahaha
dale: they want me to take out sign
dale: sads
mike: hahah fuckers
dale: yeah cheese dicks
mike: "this ad is great but wtf is this sign"
dale: haha i just sent it to you



mike: hahaha
mike: there is absolutely no reason to have that sign in there
mike: which makes it awesome
mike: you know the mattress people are just frowning and shaking their heads when they see it
dale: hahahahahahha yeah
dale: its supposed to go with the no bull
mike: haha i know
mike: but unless that is their tagline or motto
mike: totally random
mike: i would love to see an ad like that in the paper
dale: psh i would buy something from there
mike: hell yeah
mike: imagine if you went there
mike: and in the giant room with all the beds
mike: THERE WAS A REAL BULL
dale: hahaha just shitting everywhere
dale: thats all its doing is shitting
mike: hahaha yes
dale: and then there will be two guys watching and being
dale: like is he supposed to shit that much
dale: like is that normal
mike: i don't know, should we move him?
mike: i'm not a cow expert, why are you asking me?
dale: i don't know i am not familiar with how much a bull is supposed to shit
mike: oh geez look at that one
mike: that's enormous
dale: do you think its sick
dale: hahahahahha
mike: maybe this is normal
dale: wow if i shat that much i would deflate
mike: who the fuck brought this cow in here anyways?
mike: i mean we clearly have the sign that says NO BULL
mike: and yet here is a bull
mike: a fucking bull
mike: shitting everywhere
mike: ah jesus there he goes again
dale: THIS IS BULLSHIT
dale: hahahahahahahhahahaha
dale: and then they would just laugh for like ten minutes
dale: no seriously i am not fucking cleaning this up
mike: where's that new guy, what's his name, stanley or something?
mike: let's get him to clean it up
dale: lets just leave
mike: let's pretend we didn't see it
"shotguns" - apr. 18/08


dale: oh fuck you want to hear retarded
dale: Shotguns are named according to gauge, a related expression. The gauge of a shotgun refers to how many lead spheres the diameter of the bore would equal a pound. In the case of a 12-gauge shotgun, it would take twelve spheres the size of the shotgun's bore to equal a pound. Counterintuitively, a numerically larger gauge indicates a smaller barrel: a 20-gauge shotgun requires more spheres to equal a pound, therefore its barrel is smaller than the 12 gauge
dale: HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS EVEN MAKE SENSE
dale: did you read that
dale: its rediculous
mike: hahahah
mike: that makes no sense at all
dale: hahaha yeah reading that makes me not believe the lunar landing
"horse face" - june 10/08


mike: she looks like a wicked witch
jenn: its a good one
jenn: yeah i don't know what it is
jenn: very strong features
mike: long face
mike: VERY long
mike: lol
jenn: really?
jenn: ya i guess so eh
jenn: didn't notice that at first
jenn: maybe I have a long face! And i never noticed!
mike:
jenn: they call her horse-face jenn
mike: i'm so sorry jenn
mike: i thought you knew
jenn: lol
jenn: i thought 'my little jenny' was an endearing term, not a play on words!
mike: nay jenn. neigh.
jenn: hahahha
jenn: i feel a bit un stable
mike: really because i thought you'd be chomping at the bit to get on with your day
jenn: no i think i might just hoof it for the liquor cabinet instead
mike: be sure to filly your glass up full then
jenn: the mane thing to remember is hard alcohol in the glass, mix down the sink. not the other way around
mike: i prefer a good old COLT 45
mike: i totally win
"hockey fan" - june 10/08


dale: are the buffulo sabres still a team
mike: yes
dale: thank god
dale: thats who i am chearing for next year
dale: and the sharks
mike: haha okay why
mike: their logos?
dale: well yeah
dale: and for sharks you can do the arms in front of your face giant bite thing and go gnnnargh gnnnargh
mike: hahaha
dale: and then when someone calls you a band wagon jumper and goes name one person on their team
dale: you go "JAWS HAHAHA GNNNARGH GNNNARGH GNNNARGH"
mike: hahahaha
dale: and then their head explodes
dale: and then you go how long is an inning
dale: and they kill you
mike: pretty much

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