"smooth" - aug. 1/03

sergei: she was crying
sergei: and getting the pillows wet and stuff
matt: she was crying? But Sergei, you're the King of Smooth! She must be one fucked-up bitch!
"cinders" - aug. 1/03

mike: anyways, gonna go watch kamloops burn to ashes
mike: catch you later
nick: okay, have fun
mike: if you don't hear from me by tomorrow assume I am cinders somewhere
"warm fresca" - aug. 1/03

shaun: You know what warm Fresca tastes like?
jeremy: What?
shaun: Sour ass!
jeremy: I wouldn't know I've never had sour ass juice before..
mike l: You've never had sour ass juice before? Man you haven't lived till you've had sour ass juice!
"whatever" - aug. 3/03

    (jenn sends "Liam Lynch - United States of Whatever.mp3")
mike: to this song
jenn: ahahaa
jenn: where did you hear it?
jenn: have you seen the video?
mike: ya
mike: AWFUL
jenn: hehehe
jenn: it's great
mike: it's so bad! do you like it???
jenn: yeah!
jenn: haha
jenn: it's greatness is really in it's terribleness
"birds" - aug. 4/03

jenn: yeah i don't think my mom wants to give car though
jenn: i could ask
mike: well it doesn't matter to me, i will drive if you want
jenn: It's ok if you act like a turd... cuz i like (boom boom) BIRDS
jenn: k wanna leave in a bit?
mike: sure yep!
mike: sounds good
"driving" - aug. 4/03

jenn: i just had a fight with my mom over the car
mike: oh
jenn: cuz apparently she "doesn't want me driving with people"
jenn: but i won so i get the car lol
mike: lol
mike: woo!
jenn: i feel alot better driving with someone
jenn: than alone
mike: yeah that makes sense really
mike: alone if anything happened, you'd...well, be alone
jenn: lol yeah
jenn: plus i mean with another person if i'm about to do anything wrong..
jenn: you can scream and scare me more
"chase" - aug. 4/03

mike: went for a skate with shaun last night at like midnight and didn't get home till 5
meghan: that is one long skate
meghan: did you skate to chase?
mike: for a while, I chased him then he chased me
mike: it grew boring after a while though
"headline" - aug. 5/03

nick: dustin said on production days if they can't think up a good headline right away they'll put in a fake headline just to fill space
nick: he said they're usually simpsons quotes or just funny stuff they think up
nick: but this week the editor forgot to change on of the headlines before it went to press and the big headline said "the blahblahblah festival promises to be a real bore."
nick: dustin said they dont do fake headlines anymore.
"nebraska" - aug. 6/03

nick: aha! i was right. nebraska is "The cornhusker state" !!!
mike: my life is richer now with that knowledge
nick: i thought you'd like that
"smell" - aug. 7/03

jeremy: you smell like cabbage
mike: you smell like cheese
"yo yo ma" - aug. 8/03

katie: hey mike, what saying is it that I mentioned I said allllllll the time lately
katie: I am such a spaced out dope I can't remember!!!!
katie: oh, yo yo ma
katie: hahahahahahaha, nm ;D
"sad panda" - aug. 10/03

mike: k8e kaT kayTEE
mike: i have no idea what that was
mike: it just occurred to me that you could say katie in a variety of ways
katie: *looooooooool*
katie: you are too funny
mike: how is your report going?
katie: sorry, katie has a laundry emergency
katie: she stained some clothes and is in a state of panic
mike: ah
mike: is this birch?
katie: yeah
katie: she'll brb
katie: sorry, the laundry emergency makes me a sad panda.
mike: all fixed?
katie: no.
katie: that's why I'm a...........saaaaaaaaaad panda
"mastercard" - aug. 11/03

sergei: As far as I can tell from this Mastercard bill, all I buy is gas and beer! And I haven't even owned a vehicle for the past three weeks!
"proofreading" - aug. 11/03

nick: "While Santorelli and Bradford might be the flashier, more high profile players, the Clippers‘Ýá Michael Olson will be counted on just as much, if not more, by his team."
nick: its the "By his team" but that i cant get to sound right
mike: take out the commas and if that makes sense, it's fine
mike: will be counted on just as much by his team.
mike: yeah sounds a little stiff
nick: yeah
nick: just as much to lead his team?
nick: does that sound better
mike: how about
mike: While Santorelli and Bradford might be the flashier, more high profile players, the Clippers will be counting on Michael Olsen just as much, if not more, to score 1000 goals or whatever
nick: 1000 goals? wow your expectations are high, good thing you arent the coach
mike: yeah otherwise that bum Olsen'd be sent packing
mike: why can't he be flashy like high profilers like Santorelli and Bradford?
nick: he's the captain, they wont send him packing.
mike: underachiever
nick: the clippers have 15 new players this year, the only thing holding them together is olson. he's like the glue of the team
mike: yeah - slow and solidifying!
mike: he's all old and sluggish probably
nick: yeah he's really old -- 18
mike: While Santorelli and Bradford might be the flashier, more high profile players, the Clippers will be counting on Michael Olsen just as much, if not more, to win the most sloth-like player of the year award
mike: "I've always dreamed of this award," said Olsen at the awards ceremony. "This is my crowning achievement"
nick: haha sloth
mike: Unfortunately, the awards ceremony had been over for fourteen hours, and he speaking to an empty hall and six wastebaskets.
nick: you're a moron
mike: Then outside he was struck by a forklift driven by angry second-placer Mugg Bronson, who was infuriated he hadn't won the sloth award.
mike: However, the forklife was being driven at 2.49 km/hour, the maximum reaction time for Bronson, so Olsen escaped with merely a shattered hip.
nick: lol
mike: This is Olsen's ninth such hip injury though; critics say he might be getting too old for the game, as his medical bills costs the Clippers $50,000 this year in surgery and bone fusings alone.
nick: haha
mike: "We might as well name the Arena 'Olsen Memorial Medical' for all the money that we've sunk into that guy," said Clippers Rink Rat Matt Silver.
"peach" - aug. 12/03

nick: i had a dream last night about a comic we could do
mike: oh yeah?
nick: right before i went to bed i saw something on TV that said "Disturbing the Peach" instead of Peace obviously. So anyways, i had this stupid dream about a guy who stands in front of this giant golden peach and has to guard it from people and he always yells "Don't disturb the peach!"
mike: ahaha
nick: and then when he's not guarding the peach he solves mysteries with a talking spoon
"bat" - aug. 14/03

jenn: Derek hit a bat
jenn: driving home
mike: really
jenn: a BAT
mike: that's crazy
mike: that's batty
jenn: lol
mike: where did he hit the bat?
jenn: i think coming home from work
mike: no but where in town?
mike: what if it was batman?
mike: we're doomed!
mike: or dracula
jenn: haha
jenn: then we'd be ok
jenn: unless he's pissed off
"move" - aug. 14/03

mike: hey katie! What's new with you?
katie: meh, not much
katie: honestly.
katie: heh
mike: I'm in a very passive mindframe as of late
katie: iiiiiiiiiinteresting
katie: that always helps
katie: hahahahaha
mike: LOL
mike: great idea! "mom cancel lunch! I'm gonna be in VICTORIA"
katie: *lol*
katie: *mike throws his hat up in the air*
katie: "I'm gonna make it after all!!!!!!"
"fruits" - aug. 14/03

nick: oh - just quickly, another comic idea just came to me.
mike: ok
nick: The Fruits - each character can be a different type of talking fruit
nick: use your creativity and try and come up with something interesting, i've done my part
"dire straits" - aug. 16/03

jenn: You play dire straits and you become my hero.
"pros and cons" - aug. 18/03

mike: meghan was asking me indepth who i think will get the art/entertainment spot in omega, her or richie T
melissa: ah
mike: she said pros of richie t: consistent, gets something in every week and etc.
mike: cons: he's CRAZY and he yells at squirrels
"pirate" - aug. 18/03

mike: I have a big pirate flag towel that I am bringing to the movie tonight
melissa: lol cool
melissa: you go Pirate Mike, you stole my heart along time ago
mike: aye, and it were the best bounty i ever nabbed
"spreading the food" - aug. 18/03

silv: mike
mike: what's up
silv: I've just starting working on a story for the Omega about new food services and I came up with a cheesy headline
silv: "Start spreading the food" instead of "Start spreading the news" will be the attempted headline.
mike: that doesn't make any sense
mike: i don't think people will get the connection
silv: it does
silv: I'll have to have a sub-headline
mike: no i doubt anyone will get the connection between spreading the food - which sounds normal so people won't think it's a play on phrase - and spreading the news
silv: ok, you're always trying to bring me down from my headlines, but I will survive
"your mom" - aug. 18/03

shaun: So yesterday I was talking to my mom
mike: who?
shaun: my mom
mike: Who?
shaun: my mom...
mike: Who?
shaun: YOUR MOM!
"cooler" - aug. 19/03

mike: man you get cooler every day katie
katie: *LOL*
katie: So cool it makes victoria winter!
katie: HA!
"beaver" - aug. 20/03

mike: check out my msn picture!!!
jenn: ahaha
mike: isn't it awesome?
jenn: i liked your last one of the walrus or something
jenn: or was it a pig
jenn: i forget
jenn: something weird
mike: this one?
jenn: no the last one you had
jenn: before that
mike: hmm
mike: I have no idea which one you mean
mike: this it?
jenn: YEEEAH
jenn: lol
mike: beaver!
jenn: lol
jenn: i had NO clue what it was
"visit" - aug. 20/03

jenn: you'll get there and put out some sleeping bags and I'll be like "ohhh k that'll be $30 each"
mike: then we go "nice visiting you jenn!"
jenn: haha
jenn: buhybeee
jenn: well if you said "BUHB HY BEEE"
jenn: i don't know if i'd quite understand...
mike: lol
jenn: but i'm sure i'd get the jist of it when you headed out the door
jenn: and didn't come back with booze
jenn: in fact didn't come back at all
"safe" - aug. 20/03

mike: if you'll be still doing that in about 20 mins I can check when I've got mine open and everything
jenn: k cool
jenn: see ya in bit then
jenn: drive safe
mike: yep yep
mike: where are you?
jenn: home?
mike: inside right?
mike: not out driving?
jenn: inside
mike: i'll be safe
jenn: HEY
jenn: BYE
mike: hahaha
"spelling" - aug. 21/03

jay: ahy
jay: balh
"mello" - aug. 22/03

mike: mello tomato
jenn: heheh
jenn: nono
jenn: mello tomatto
mike: tomatto
mike: makes the word too fat
mike: fatto tomatto
jenn: shutto uppo
"mr roboto" - aug. 22/03

dave: You know Mike, every once in a while a song comes on your playlist that makes me just wonder "What the hell IS this?"
mike: Yeah it's an interesting mix sometimes.
dave: Like what is this??
mike: This is Mr. Roboto by Styx!
dave: ...oh yeah.
mike: You know, it was in the car commercial?
dave: ...
mike: Wait till the chorus (chorus comes on, no recognition)
    [sergei comes in]
mike: Hey Serge, do you know what song this is?
sergei: Yeah, Domo Arigatou, Mr. Roboto!
dave: What? Did you just hear that now?
sergei: What do you mean?
mike: You already knew what song that was right?
sergei: Yeah, everybody sings that song.
dave: ...am I being set up here??
sergei: No man, don't you remember the Volkswagon commerical? Domo arigatou, Mr. Roboto (starts doing robot motions)
dave: No I don't...but I don't know if that adds much credibility, I mean, Mr...who were they...oh yeah, BOTTLE ROCKETS here.
sergei: ...don't speak about the bottle rockets that way.
"rasputin" - aug. 22/03

sergei: Rasputin???
dave: Oh Mike, if there's one song he likes better than the bottle rockets...
sergei: Just give me a wedding now! (starts russian dancing) Just give me a wedding!
"soul" - aug. 25/03

al: hey, I never did end up taking the place you told me about. I'm moving into another condo instead.
mike: yeah i know, you told me
al: okay
mike: your friends place
al: yeah that's right
al: I guess that means I don't owe you my soul anymore.
mike: oh well
mike: you did temporarily
al: my soul isn't worth much anyways.
"cordless" - aug. 25/03

jenn: i just got a cordless keyboard
jenn: it is sooo cool
mike: ooooooh
jenn: and mouse
mike: ooooh
jenn: and it's black
jenn: i can take my keboard across the room with me
jenn: and type
jenn: and mouse
jenn: for watchin movies
mike: otherwise you're across the room typing up an essay
jenn: hehehe
jenn: yeah!
"wonderful" - aug. 26/03

mike: who is this now? melissa or lorne?
melissa: wonderful, wonderful, wonderful me
mike: okay that actually doesn't answer my question
melissa: lol
"forgetful" - aug. 26/03

mike: what happened to getting up early and doing your running around?
shaun: that plan didn't go too well
mike: i see
shaun: apparently someone even called for me
shaun: but i don't remember speaking to anyone
mike: yeah
mike: ME
shaun: YOU
shaun: shit
mike: YES
shaun: haha
"shellfish" - aug. 27/03

melissa: well thank goodness I am not super shellfish
melissa: I mean selfish
"fat" - aug. 27/03

jenn: hows work
jenn: get out early!
mike: i'm at home
mike: but working
jenn: whaaa
mike: working FROM HOME
jenn: whoaaaaa
jenn: did you pull a homer
jenn: gain 300 pounds
mike: yes I gained about four hundred pounds
jenn: wearin a mu-mu?
mike: and am using my key-pressing stick
mike: since my fingers are too fat
"protest" - aug. 28/03

barb: I'd complain.
barb: Demand an explanation
barb: boycott
barb: burn the office down
barb: torch his house
barb: steal all his garden gnomes
barb: over-water his azaeleas
barb: leave a bag of flaming dog poop on his desk
barb: DAMN THE MAN!!!
"called" - aug. 28/03

shaun: hey what did you call about earlier
mike: ?
mike: i didn't
shaun: yeah you did at 1:44 pm
mike: no i didn't
mike: i can guarantee you
shaun: my phone tells me you did
mike: my BRAIN tells me I didn't
mike: check it again
mike: it's probably 1:44 AM
shaun: why would you call me at 1:44 am we were still at the bar
mike: probably just to make your phone ring
shaun: wellllllllllllll YOU FAILED
"gnome" - aug. 28/03

mike: i like your picture
mike: he's a very jolly gnome
barb: i thought you might
barb: i thought he looked kind of evil
mike: really?
barb: he's got a knife hidden in that beard you know
mike: he's got twinkly eyes!
barb: that's an evil glint, not a twinkle
barb: that, and he's drunk
barb: he's a sauce-monster
"cackle" - aug. 28/03

mike: are you cackling like a maniac and scaring shaun?
katie: No.
"sours" - aug. 28/03

katie: Mmmmmmmmmm, sour keys
katie: *drooling*
mike: i don't like sours
katie: whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???
katie: you can't come visit.
katie: *shuts the door*
katie: *LOL*
mike: a dog just ran in and licked my arm!!!!!!!!!!!
mike: where the hell did a DOG COME FROM
katie: *takes the drugs away*
"phat" - aug. 28/03

guy outside bar: I'm one phat bitch...that's what I am, a phat bitch with a 'ph'.
"drunk" - aug. 28/03

jenn: Holy crap I'm drunk! It's like my sober self is trapped inside and I can hear myself. And I sound like an idiot!
"iq" - aug. 29/03

bucholtz: I have the I.Q of chicken. A bowl of mayonaise is probably smarter than me.
"not drunk" - aug. 30/03

meghan: I'm not drunk, I'm just mentally retarded.
"lunch" - aug. 31/03

katie: Mike, what should I eat for lunch?
mike: hmmmmmm
mike: well what do you have?
katie: well, my mom got me a sandwich maker, so I could have a grilled cheese sandwich (I had one last night tho) or a pizza sandwich, or I could make hamburgers or soup
katie: *LOL*
katie: ok.
"ugliest dog" - aug. 31/03

shaun: If I had the ugliest dog in the world, I would totally name it Assface.
"meat shoppe" - aug. 31/03

mike: It's a meat shoppe during the day and a bar at night!
"astronomy" - sept. 2/03

mike: so when do your classes start?
mike: mine start tomorrow
mike: astrology
mike: ooooooooooh
jenn: oooooooh
jenn: wait
jenn: astrology?
jenn: class?
jenn: or astronomy
mike: astrology
jenn: really?
jenn: they have that?
jenn: jeez
jenn: you study horiscopes or something
mike: ya
mike: haha
mike: i dunno
mike: constellations or something?
mike: i just had to take an elective
"spinal injury" - sept. 3/03

lorne: I broke his spine, but I'm going to fix him by moving his legs in different directions.
"jerk" - sept. 3/03

jenn: sure just go SIGN OUT on me
jenn: you
jenn: you
jenn: BIG JERK
jenn: lol what was that... that i said once
jenn: remember
jenn: it was something along the lines
jenn: ohhh
jenn: mike you are NOT NICE
jenn: lolol
mike: LOL
jenn: i rememebrrrrr
mike: You are being NOT NICE
jenn: you are being NOT NICE
mike: ahaha
"cool" - sept. 3/03

mike: your sister is awesome
mike: she's obviously got all the COOL of the o'neill daughters
mike: hehe
jenn: yeah i know
jenn: she most def did
jenn: she thinks she's adopted
jenn: i do too
mike: though you did come up with the name weiner which is wicked funny
jenn: cuz me and nathan are not cool
jenn: although nathan was "cool" in highschool
jenn: i've just never tapped the holy cool pool
jenn: lol you like that?
jenn: wiener?
jenn: stoopid story huh
jenn: it stuck in the stoopidest of ways
mike: the holy cool pool
mike: hahaha
mike: i think i like the weiner story because I can TOTALLY see you just eyes wide yelling "WEEEEINER!"
jenn: hahaha
jenn: shush you
jenn: the realization
jenn: the moment of enlightenment
jenn: haha
jenn: k i'm lauighing
jenn: i dunno why
jenn: i think i'm going crazy
"address" - sept. 4/03

jenn: hey you have to mail me omegas with your articles in em
mike: okay
jenn: yaya
mike: do you have an actual address?
jenn: i will tomorrow
jenn: yaaaaaaaay
mike: Jennifer O'Neill Fridge box #2, back alley 6
mike: oh and shaun says you smell like cabbage
jenn: giveshaun you ass
jenn: oops
jenn: lol
jenn: that was supposed to be shaun you ass
jenn: haha
jenn: and then give me some credit
jenn: all in one
"hector" - sept. 4/03

shaun: Who are you talking to?
mike: melissa
shaun: ...who??
mike: melissa!
shaun: Oh. I thought you said Hector.
"crazy" - sept. 4/03

jenn: poy i've had lits to do
jenn: like... sleep
jenn: and forage for popsicles
mike: I'm sorry, I have no idea what "poy i've had lits to do" could possibly mean
jenn: lol
jenn: "oy, i've had lots to do"
mike: ahhh
jenn: ok i'm laughing out loud
mike: haha
mike: yeah?
jenn: i dunno why
jenn: i think it's cuz i repeated thatout loud
mike: the poy or oy?
mike: lol
jenn: all of it
jenn: poy i've got lits to do
mike: haha
mike: okaaaay
mike: i think if I said it aloud shaun would think i'm crazy
jenn: SAY IT
jenn: saaaaay it
mike: haha
mike: really? |:
jenn: if he thinks your crazy just say "oh it's jenn"
jenn: and then there can be a knowning solemn nod exchange
mike: hahaha
mike: ok
mike: i'm saying NOW!
jenn: woo
mike: shaun: "...what?
mike: shaun: "...poy I've got lits....I don't even want to know."
"whine" - sept. 5/03

jenn: im going to bed
jenn: class tomorrow
mike: ahh
jenn: i feel like crap
mike: what time?
jenn: 10:30
jenn: i'm getting whiny
mike: aw poor widdly piddly jenn :|
mike: whiny?
jenn: things are so diff here though
jenn: hey
jenn: i may be widdly but i'm certainly not piddly
mike: lol
jenn: yeah i just feel like whining
jenn: i think i'll be ok though
jenn: just a lot of anticipation
mike: ah i see
mike: well good luck then
jenn: thanks mike
mike: you can always email me a whine
mike: just title it "whine"
mike: so I can just delete it
mike: and say I read it
jenn: lol
"webcam" - sept. 7/03

mike: can you see me?
jay: ya
mike: cool
jay: I see you
mike: yep
mike: that's sorta the idea
jay: you should put a porn picture on you back wall
mike: nah that's okay
jay: too bad i like porn
mike: i would've never guessed
jay: pic your nose
mike: no that's alright
mike: so how are your classes and stuff?
jay: tits
jay: I'm off to bed
"hunger" - sept. 7/03

birch: anyway, I think that my roommate and I are going to forage in the streets of Victoria for food and beverages
birch: We have no money and we have no resources, so we're gonna order a Pizza to a wrong address and then when they throw it out, we'll be waiting by the dumpster
mike: good idea
birch: im just kidding.
birch: my mind can only conceive of bad good ideas
birch: see, that may be kinda clever, but it's still a bad idea
birch: anyway, off to hunt the neighbors cat. She won't notice it's missing til we have it's bones boiling for stock
mike: you could just be street performers of something and get some $$$
birch: yeah, performers of... i dunno... felatio
mike: lol
birch: look, we're not gay, but If a little rod has to be swallowed to get some food, Im not above that
"monger" - sept. 9/03

nick: So that's the gist. Don't say anything though, because I don't want people to think I'm some kind of gossip-monger.
mike: No, of course I won't.
nick: I didn't think so. I just wanted to use the word 'monger' in a sentence.
"a rather large ass" - sept. 9/03

doug: If I curled my entire body into a ball it still wouldn't be as big as that guy's ass.
"pika" - sept. 10/03

mike: what??
airesse: my brother bought a pet chinchilla today!!!!!!!
airesse: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mike: a what??
airesse: chinchilla!
mike: is that a mexican food
airesse: its like a half rabbit half kitten!
airesse: soooooooooo cute!
mike: oh cool
airesse: and soft like a muthafukka!
mike: haha
airesse: oh man its so awesome
mike: there's airesse, just kneading and pawing it
airesse: ahahahahah
airesse: NO NO IM GOOD
mike: "so SOFT!!"
mike: *paw mush smoosh*
airesse: noooooooooooooooooooooo
airesse: it jumps like a hot damn too, and they arent too skittish and FUCK they rule
airesse: expensive though
airesse: like 100 bucks
mike: yeah that's pricey
airesse: oh man you dont understand HOW soft they are
airesse: its like pure powder soft
mike: haha
mike: what's its name??
airesse: not sure
airesse: adrien wants to name it Dice
airesse: i wanted to name it pikachu
mike: haha
airesse: PIKA
airesse: PIKAAAAA
"brownie" - sept. 10/03

mike: jennwa?
jenn: ah yes both awake as usual
jenn: orrrrr mebbe not
jenn: yeah
mike: i am awake
mike: so is shaun
mike: he says crackers are healthy
jenn: lol
jenn: i am so hungry
mike: aww
jenn: i'm hunnnngry
mike: aww
mike: poor jenn
jenn: mmm chocolate
mike: lookie what we got!!!
mike: we went to a&w and they gave me extra junk on my burger
mike: but I didn't want it
mike: so we got THIS FOR FREE
jenn: I WANT IT
mike: brownie
jenn: is that a brownie
mike: YA
mike: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
jenn: i HATE YOU
mike: hahaha
jenn: mmmmmmmmmmm
mike: how about I just put the cam like this
mike: lol you look like you're going insane
mike: hahahaha
jenn: already there
mike: haha
jenn: you are being a JERK
jenn: worse...
jenn: you're being
jenn: NOT NICE
jenn: WORSE
jenn: you're being
"ranty" - sept. 11/03

diana: Am I too ranty?
mark: You mean you ever stop?
"freak" - sept. 11/03

mike: maybe i'm just weird
nick: oh you're a freak, no doubt about it.
"hesitate" - sept. 11/03

nick: im still wavering on whether i truly want to go though. i'll probably end up going, but im gonna sleep on it tonight and see in the morning
mike: dude you are GOING
nick: oh am I?
mike: yeah! seriously
nick: oh well in that case
mike: no seriously
mike: i don't see why you are even hesitating....
mike: it's not really about whether you truly want to go or not. You are going.
mike: can you really afford to be picky at this point man?
nick: not really
mike: well then
nick: ah!! why do you always have to make sense all the damn time?
mike: because I fucking rule
mike: seriously though
mike: if you don't take this job, and you were complaining about the unemployment situation before, then you'd better get a job fast
mike: OR I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!
"trading spaces and sex" - sept. 15/03

jer: Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go home, turn on the giant 51" T.V and see if I can find any naked boobs. They'll look huge!
nick: Dude, it's Sunday night, you aren't going to find any porn.
jer: Hey, I might find some. There's a good chance.
nick: What, you think there might be some leftover porn from Saturday night T.V that they just couldn't fit into the schedule so they just try and sneak it in on Sunday?
jer: Yeah, it'll be on those TLC learning type channels and they'll try and disguise it as some kind of educational show.
nick: Oh yeah, like "Trading Spaces.....and sex!!"
jer: Yeah, exactly!
"hello" - sept. 16/03

nick: hey
melissa: go fist yourself
nick: oh, thanks
melissa: that was not me typing
melissa: it was meghan
"mention" - sept. 17/03

mike: i have to write a writing exercise but all I can think about is you
melissa: oh baby
melissa: well talk about me
mike: lol and the writing exercise talks about monkeys who use sexual contct as an important form of conflict resolution
melissa: what?
melissa: ok don't mention me
"romance" - sept. 17/03

mike: how about this name
mike: If you were my homework I'd be doing you right now
jenn: lol
jenn: nice name
jenn: whos is that
mike: um one i have but haven't used
jenn: nice
jenn: is funny
mike: it's the kind of thing I say to melissa
jenn: so bunt and stoopid its good
jenn: lol
mike: i've told you about our weird convos right?
jenn: this is the kind of thing i say to mellissa
jenn: cuz i don't know her
jenn: mebbe
jenn: not sure
mike: the mad passionate love affair talks
mike: super cheesy
jenn: lol
mike: lovey dovey
jenn: do you guys read trashy romance novels
mike: oh they're basically trashy romance novels
jenn: right on
mike: sample:
jenn: kinda twisted, but right on
mike: mw: Sometimes I must seem like a twinkie talking on msn. me: oh that's just because you're so sweet
jenn: GAG ME
jenn: lol
jenn: mushy aint my style man
jenn: it's more like hey facker you suck
jenn: it's all love man
mike: haha
jenn: i must seem like a vaccuum on msn
jenn: thats cuz you SUCK
jenn: SUCK ASS
jenn: SUCKER
"fanclub" - sept. 21/03

spigs: I'm the president of the Nick Fan club right now.
"fucking can" - sept. 21/03

meghan: Fucking can! What have you ever done for me?
"graham crackers" - sept. 22/03

jenn: mmm gram crackers
jenn: these are SO GOOD
mike: i haven't had graham crackers in ages
jenn: i'm regressing
jenn: kd alphaghetti, grahm crackers
jenn: i want animal crackers
jenn: mmmmm aaaanimal crackers
mike: mmm
jenn: gram. crackers. becoming. ovrewhelming.
mike: let's see a gram cracker
mike: yeah I haven't eaten one of those in i dunno how long
jenn: i ATE some of it
jenn: thats why it's LITTLE
mike: REALLY
mike: here's a giant one
mike: GIANT
mike: that was so bad
"concert" - sept. 25/03

meghan: Al, do you think we should wait in line, or go behind the building to see if Sum 41 is back there?
al: I think I'm going to go pick up that chick.
"oilers" - sept. 30/03

dayna: Ken, you better not hire a retard for a news reporter.
ken: Well I hired Nick didnt I?
dayna: Well Nick hasn't done anything to me to prove he's a retard.
ken: Well he hates the Oilers.
dayna: I said he wasn't a retard, I never said he wasnt stupid.


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