"ridiculous" - feb. 5/01


barb: it's ridiculous. that's the only word I have to describe it.
barb: RIDICULOUS!!
mike: it's PREPOSTEROUS!
barb: R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S!
barb: I-N-C-R-E-D-U-L-O-U-S
barb: A-B-S-U-R-D
barb: U-N-R-E-A-S-O-N-A-B-L-E
barb: DISGUSTING
mike: L-U-D-I-C-R-O-U-S
barb: BIASED
mike: Silly.
barb: UNFAIR
barb: fantastical
mike: Utterly nonsensical.
barb: unorthodox.
mike: Hey - unorthodox is good.
barb: definitely UNORTHODOX.
barb: and uncalled for.
barb: inappropriate!
mike: alright! Alright!!!!
barb: INAPPROPRIATE!
barb: THAT'S THE WORD!
mike: good one.
barb: thanks
"haircut" - feb. 7/01


barb: I might be cutting my hair again
mike: cool - how like?
barb: Uhh
barb: hmmm
barb: lemme think
mike: k...
barb: did you ever see The Replacements?
mike: nope
barb: well you suck
barb: What about...
barb: oh hell
barb: what's it
barb: the one with ethan embry, jennifer love hewitt
barb: about that part..
barb: DAMMIT!!!!
mike: haha
barb: I can't remember it's on the TIP OF MY BRAIN!
mike: You have a POINTY BRAIN
barb: YES!
mike: haha
barb: FUCK!
barb: what the hell is that movie?
mike: what's some more details
barb: about that party after grad
barb: and he's after the girl
barb: but she doesn't know it
barb: and the geeks are getting their revenge on the all-star jock,
mike: Can't Hardly Wait? Trojan War?
barb: the nerd becomes the most popular guy ever for one night.
barb: CAN'T HARDLY WAIT!
barb: duuuuh!
barb: that's the one
mike: haha
barb: remember the one ditzy girl with blonde hair.
barb: short blonde hair
mike: nope.
barb: for chrissake
barb: forget it
"army of darkness" - march 11/01


barb: Army of Darkness reminds me of all you guys
mike: That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
"themes" - march 15/01


mike: you know that senile comp prof of ours?
barb: rolloff?
mike: yeah him
barb: what about him?
mike: well wednesday it was just before class, and it's all silent.
mike: and he goes "So......did anybody go to that Rave last week?"
barb: HA!
mike: turns out he was talkin about Snowjob
mike: but then he started asking "So what are raves like?"
mike: "What do you do at Raves?"
mike: "Does anybody here go to Raves?" and on and on.
mike: Me and Kristina figured out that he has a theme each day.
mike: it was raves wednesday
barb: the day i was there it was brain cells and easy chairs.
mike: sometimes it's death
mike: last week he said "You have two choices in life. Die young, or grow old like me."
barb: that's not a very good choice ...
barb: die young
mike: but that's not as bad as when he said "Each day you live is a step closer to death."
mike: and then the next day he was going off about how he loves mexico
mike: he's kinda strange
"conversation" - march 20/01


barb: ahoy hoy?
barb: LA LA LA LA LA --- It's super nice and sunny here!
barb: it was 18 above in Moose Jaw yesterday... aaahhh weeeee!!! It's SPRING!!!!!!!
barb: it's been a blast talkin to ya Mike!
barb: way to go!
barb: what's new with you?
barb: uh-huh...
barb: yeah...
barb: mmm-hmm...
barb: oh that's cool....
barb: GOOD STORY!!!
"breathe" - apr. 17/01


mike: boy she's loud
mike: LOUD
chelsey: HAHA
chelsey: shit i'm crackin up here
mike: i know
mike: me too
mike: it's tough not to laugh at her
chelsey: uhhhhh YA
mike: yeah but you're not facing her
chelsey: ya but shit i haven't laughed this hard forever
chelsey: MAN
chelsey: breathe
mike: haha
mike: just breathe
chelsey: faith hill
chelsey: haha
mike: no
mike: prodigy
mike: BREATHE!
mike: hahaha
chelsey: ok
chelsey: thanks
chelsey: you're bad
mike: bad how?
chelsey: you just are
chelsey: like
chelsey: shit
chelsey: that was so damn funny
mike: haha
chelsey: uh no
chelsey: prodigy
mike: haha
chelsey: man
mike: shush
mike: now you're gonna make me laugh
chelsey: K STOP
chelsey: wow i gotta take a walk
    (leaves, goes into hallway and laughs for a few minutes, then returns)
chelsey: ok
chelsey: simmered
mike: haha
chelsey: man
chelsey: that was intense
mike: haha
mike: apparently!
chelsey: i'm still fricken laughing
mike: haha
chelsey: k
chelsey: k
chelsey: i'm good now
chelsey: i'm turning my music way up though so that i can't hear if she talks again
mike: LOL
mike: you didn't hear her JUST NOW
mike: "HHHHRRRRRMMMMM!!!"
chelsey: haha
chelsey: i can't
mike: she sounded like a cow!!
chelsey: my music sooooooooo loud
chelsey: haha
chelsey: FUCK
mike: HRRRRRMMMMMM!!!
chelsey: STOP
mike: haha
mike: MRRRHRHHRMRMMMMMM!!!
chelsey: K
chelsey: DAMN U
chelsey: I'LL GET YOU BACK SOMETIME
mike: she was loud too
chelsey: WAS SHE LOUD MIKE
chelsey: NONO
mike: it sounded not like a moo
mike: but
mike: like
mike: like a cow with a voicebox
mike: HRMMMMMMMM
mike: HRRRMMMMMMM
chelsey: STOP MIKE!!!!!!!
mike: I couldn't even MAKE the sound!
mike: it's like a groan and moan all put together!!
mike: and a grunt too!
chelsey: K YOU'RE SO CUT
chelsey: FROM HERE
chelsey: BYE
"legally retarded" - apr. 17/01


chelsey: I HAVE TO GO PHONE SOMEONE AT 2:30 TOO
chelsey: I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL DAY TO PHONE
mike: okay well why don't we go at 2:30, you can phone, and then we'll head over to her office?
chelsey: K BUT...
chelsey: YOU CAN'T BE THERE WHEN I PHONE
chelsey: HAHA BURN!!!!!!!
chelsey: NO YOU CAN BE IF YOU REALLY WANYT
chelsey: BUT IT'D BE BETTER
chelsey: IF I WENT AND PHONED COS I CAN ONLY TALK FOR 15 MINS COS THAT'S HOW LONG HIS BREAK IS
chelsey: AND THEN YOU COME BY AT 4:45
mike: wow
mike: so what are you gonna do for the extra 2 hours?
chelsey: OH SHIT
chelsey: HAHA
chelsey: I MEANT 2:45
mike: haha
chelsey: WE HAVE TO PICK UP THE PACE
mike: okay
mike: well we've got 20 mins
chelsey: NO IT TAKES ME 5 TO GET THERE AND 2 TO PUT THE MONEY IN AND I HAVE TO CALL MY MOM TOO
mike: 2 minutes to put the money in?
mike: damn
chelsey: YA
mike: you might be legally retarded then
chelsey: I HAVE TROUBLES
chelsey: THANKS
"advice" - may 12/01


barb: Mike - my only advice to you is to NEVER EVER do whatever a girl tells you to do.
barb: NEVER
barb: ever
barb: ever
barb: never
barb: ever
mike: never ever huh
barb: unless you want to piss her off...
barb: then do everything she says 24/7
barb: and she'll go absolutely insane.
"pink" - may 23/01


jenn: I'm eating a candy necklace and the pink ones are hurting me
"out of gas" - may 23/01


mike: yesterday when we went to the movies jason picked me up - and his truck's tank was already on E
mike: and yet somehow we made it all the way there and back
mike: and we couldn't stop and gas up
mike: because jason didn't have the gas key
jenn: oh my god. bright boy
mike: haha
mike: so on the way down the hill we were all "Okay, we'll shut off the ignition and just coast - save some gas"
mike: but apparently when shut off you can't use the brakes on Jason's truck
mike: or turn
jenn: WHAT?!
jenn: coooool
jenn: so what happened?
mike: we were going down the big hill next to the college and we were just approaching the turn and couldn't turn
mike: so we were all "Ahhhh!! Jay!! Turn it on!! Hurry up!"
mike: "Dammit jay, you mean there's no BRAKES??"
mike: "Noooo! How come MIKE gets the only seatbelt?!?!"
jenn: hahahahahaha
"blew up" - may 23/01


jenn: Craig just got here
jenn: his car blew up yesterday
mike: what?
jenn: ya, he has no arms or legs now
mike: and he's already well enough to go to your house
mike: wow
mike: unless he just landed from the explosion now
jenn: ya, he just crashed through my ceiling
mike: hmm
jenn: He's complaining a lot
"slurpee" - june 2/01


jenn: That 7-11 girl came out of NOWHERE!
jenn: Like, awww, this part is so emotional, then HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM SEVEN ELEVEN JENN! COME GET A FREE SLURPEE!
jenn: jenn: "FREE SLURPEE?!"
jenn: girl: "no just kidding"
jenn: DAMN
mike: hahaha
"captain planet" - june 10/01


jenn: with your powers combined I AM CAPTAIN PLANET!
mike: Heart!
mike: Water!
mike: Wind!
mike: Fire!
mike: Earth!
mike: uh
mike: is that it?
jenn: HAHAHAHAHAHAAH
jenn: yes it is!
jenn: haha
jenn: oh man
jenn: you know too much
jenn: we must kill you
"lettuce" - june 20/01


barb: at work today
barb: i was supposed to make a big crunch sandwich with no lettuce
barb: i made the first one - put the mayo on, but i was talking to greg so i threw lettuce on while like 3 people yelled NOOOOOO!!!!
barb: so i made another one... and put lettuce on it again
barb: this time Greg was standing there going NONONONONO!!!!! NO LETTUCE BARB!!
barb: so greg took the lettuce away
barb: and i was making the THIRD one, and i reached for the lettuce AGAIN and was like "Hey, where'd the lettuce go??"
barb: and everyone was like "oh for chrissake barb!!!!"
barb: hahah
mike: hahaha
mike: nice barb
barb: i couldn't believe i kept making the exact same mistake
barb: over and over and over
barb: whatta loser i am
mike: you actually asked about the lettuce the third time?
mike: I guess an education doesn't teach you how to deal with a no-lettuce situation
barb: no it doesn't
barb: well i KNEW he took the lettuce
barb: but i opened the drawer to put the mayo away and automatically reached for lettuce but the bin was totally gone
barb: greg was standing like 6 feet away with the bin in his arms
barb: hahahaahhaa
barb: whatta gong show
mike: haha
mike: cut off from the lettuce
barb: i'm totally cut off
"eagle" - aug. 5/01


person 1: Look, an eagle!
person 2: That's not an eagle, that's a lawnmower.
person 1: ...oh.
"trans-am" - aug. 16/01


girl on bus 1: You didn't even see a black Trans-Am, cause they don't have black Trans-Ams!
girl on bus 2: Yes they do!
girl on bus 1: No, they don't!
girl on bus 2: Yes they do!
girl on bus 1: No, they don't!
girl on bus 2: Yes they do!
girl on bus 1: No, they don't!
girl on bus 2: Yes they do!
girl on bus 1: Well I was looking through Jason's Trans-Am magazine and they were all red.
girl on bus 2: I bet people think we're dumb because it sounds like we don't know what we're talking about.
girl on bus 1: Well we don't know.
girl on bus 2: But we're not dumb.
"birthday" - aug. 16/01


girl on bus 2: Hey, it's my birthday today! I hate this, I ruined my birthday. I mean, like I wanted to take my mom out for dinner for having me, and raising me for all these years, and to show my appreciation and that I care for her...but instead, we hitchhiked to Ottawa.
"weather" - sept. 20/01


jenn: I wonder if it'll be hot or cold
mike: cold!
jenn: true
mike: seaside
mike: coastal
mike: winds
mike: gales
mike: hurricanes
mike: ocean spray
jenn: but he said in a day it can go from really cold and rainy to really hot and sunny
mike: chill air
jenn: so layer
mike: tempests
mike: temperate storms
jenn: okok
mike: tsunamis
jenn: temperate storms?!
jenn: I'm gonna DIE!
"beheaded" - oct. 18/01


jenn: k there was this one guy that really scared me like I said beforwe
jenn: I'll tell you what it was
jenn: "Hello Jenn." and something along the lines of how are you
jenn: and then he says "do you have a phoby?"
jenn: or a foby
jenn: I dunno
jenn: And I thought he meant hobby
mike: haha
mike: okay
jenn: I'm like "uhhh... music?"
jenn: and he's like "oh that's nice. Do you have a foby?"
jenn: so I'm like huh wha?
jenn: he's like A fear
jenn: (yikes)
jenn: *FEAR*
jenn: so I'm like, I don't know... why?
mike: haha
jenn: And he's like "my fears are earthquakes and getting beheaded."
jenn: "Are you afraid of earthquakes?"
jenn: ok, after that, I'm not thinking about EARTHQUAKES!
jenn: What kind of fear is getting BEHEADED?
mike: lmao
jenn: like you need to fear that!
jenn: like you might by some strange and horrible mistake get your head CHOPPED OFF!
mike: hahaha
jenn: so I'm like... not really
jenn: So he said the scariest thing
jenn: he said...
jenn: "if I catche you and fasten your hands behind you"
jenn: then bring you to my basement or a deep forest
jenn: then I put my knife on your throat and begin to rub my knife against your throat strongly
jenn: do you scare?"
jenn: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jenn: I wanted to cry!
mike: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jenn: YA!
jenn: God, I almost crapped my pants
jenn: So I said:
jenn: no, I don't "scare" I kick you in the jimmy" "BYE"
mike: hahaha
jenn: and he's like "bye JEnn have a nice day"
"expressive" - dec. 18/01


katie: he's confused
katie: now he's scared
katie: now he's concerned
katie: now he's curious
mike: LOL
mike: now he's amused
katie: *LOL*
mike: now he's laughing
katie: *LOL*
katie: now he's sleeping
mike: lol!
mike: now he's expressing his creative side
mike: now he's in joy after winning an award
katie: *LOL*
katie: *LOOOOOOL*
mike: hahaha
mike: too funny
katie: waaaay too funnie
katie: that guy should run for president
mike: lol
mike: now he's saying "Vote for me!"
katie: *LOL*
mike: now he's saying "abortions for some, miniature american flags for everyone!"
katie: *LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL*
katie: please join my cult mike
mike: lol!
mike: that would be spendid katie
katie: I enjoy it mike
mike: I know, I can tell by the excitement in your eyes
katie: I am drooling
mike: Why yes, I would like some grey poupon.
katie: *LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL*
mike: I'm amused.
katie: make the hurting stop
mike: ha ha.
katie: why are you mocking me?
mike: I'm warning you, I'm getting mad.
katie: I'm known to be violent
mike: I'm known to be overemotional.

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